Ahh, it’s all over. You can come out now. Your precious undefeated season remains the only one in NFL history. I just hope that all the other great athletes in professional sports don’t exhibit such immaturity and lack of sportsmanship when another individual or team threatens to join them in greatness. In hearing the countless interviews with former Dolphins players following Super Bowl XLII, not once did I detect that any of them were truly happy for the victorious Giants; not once did I hear “Wow, that was a great game, wasn’t it?”. Sure, they congratulated New York and all…but not without slipping in the fact that they’re all relieved to know they stand alone in perfection. Come on, it’s one thing to root against a team because you don’t like their players, or their fans, or their coach, or even their uniforms, for that matter. But it’s entirely different and offensive to have so much interest in a game, for so many selfish reasons: fear of being forgotten in one’s old age comes to mind. Whatever the reasons may consist of, is it so bad to share an undefeated season? Would that be the end of your world? If so, you were playing the right game for all the wrong reasons.
I certainly doubt that if and when the next NCAA men’s basketball team enters the Big Dance undefeated, that Bob Knight will be cowering in a corner somewhere, praying they don’t make it to the final four. Love him or hate him, Knight IS basketball. And there is no way he would wish failure on a team that threatened to become the first undefeated program since his Hoosiers did it in 1976. If every athlete and coach carried this mindset, things would honestly get pretty boring and sports, as we know it, would lose all meaning: ‘Ok everyone, stop winning. The only perfect season is in jeopardy and someone’s feelings might get hurt.’
Let’s face it, New England was busted for spying on one game; and while they may or may not be responsible for other violations, it is unfair to claim they don’t deserve a perfect season. When the justice system does have its final say, trust me, it will have nothing to do with your team. If the Patriots were aloud to compete, then they should be aloud to win, plain and simple. Albeit, the majority of Super Bowl viewers, myself included, didn’t want to see the Patriots go undefeated; but that’s mainly due to the fact that our country hasn’t ever exactly embraced dynasties as a whole. Believe it or not, not everyone in America wants to see the Yankees win the World Series either. But you were part of an amazing season and when a new and sensational football team comes so close to joining you up there on your golden pedestal, you panic. And when they don’t make it, you celebrate jubilantly like a grown man who’s just won a children’s raffle.
As I recall, Roger Maris’s son hugged Mark McGuire when his father’s infamous single season home-run record was broken; and even though no one was talking about it at the time, I’d say the evidence of foul play was much more palpable than that of Spygate ’08. I never heard Hank Aaron speak an ill word about Barry Bonds surpassing him on the career home-runs list. Even if he was thinking it, he is a man and a professional who responded accordingly. Let’s be honest, it’s human nature to want to stand alone in greatness. Sure it’s something special to have the only perfect season, but it is absolutely classless to come out, 30 years after you played the game, and boast to the media how great it feels to watch another team lose; not because it meant your team was making the playoffs, but because you are unwilling to share a page in the history books.
Jack Nicklaus may not cherish the fact that his records will all soon be shattered by Tiger Woods.; he may even feel some sense of melancholy in watching his unbelievable accomplishments be surpassed by a new and exciting generation of athlete. But he would be doing a disservice to the game if he vocalized his wish to remain the best and unchallenged, even in death. Nicklaus, like all other legendary athletes, will openly embrace every victory that brings Tiger closer to his marks, because that is what champions do, for the betterment of the sport. It is their competitive spirit, their sportsmanship and their gracious demeanor that makes game what it is and shall forever be.
I’m disappointed in not hearing one member of the ‘72 Dolphin squad congratulate the Giants without re-affirming “there’s no such thing as a perfect season…except in 1972.” No, really, we all get it. But the fact that you have to remind everyone simply takes away from that magnificent season. Sportsmanship is not about living in the past. We cherish records, not for their immortality, but for the athletes who hold them and those who progress in challenging and breaking them. It’s not as though teams are going undefeated all over the place. You would know more than anyone just how rare and tremendous a feat it is. Which is why it shocks me to see you have such disdain for a group of men with a chance at that blissful glory you were so fortunate enough to experience. You can keep your undefeated season for now and forever…the rest of us will be enjoying the game for the love of the game itself…and nothing else.
I’d like to say that Super Bowl XLII is right around the corner; or that it will be here before you know it. But let’s be honest, the 2-week lull between NFL’s conference championships and THE ultimate sporting event is painful. Albeit not as painful as watching Ladanian “Vader” Tomlinson slouching on the bench, while the Patriots slyly chalked up yet another win. Nonetheless, here are a few pros and cons you should know about the ‘Big Game’ before it arrives (we do have some time).
HISTORY
Pros: You may be witnessing history in the making, as the New England Patriots look to put the finishing touches on what could be the greatest season of all time. The Pat’s dynamic offense is sure to provide some fireworks come (next) Sunday. The weather will be warm and the stage will be set for the first perfect season ever.
Cons: You may be witnessing history in the making, as the New England Patriots look to put the finishing touches on what may be the cheapest display in all of sports (along with the entire steroid era). The Spymasters of the Universe will be sure to aggravate a large number of football fans with yet another tainted, unearned victory. And with the Boston Celtics contending for the top spot in the NBA’s Eastern Conference, the state of Massachusetts is looking at sheer domination in three of the four major American sporting events; which is just awesome…if you’re from Massachusetts.
HALFTIME SHOW
Pros : Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers will be performing in the Super Bowl XLII halftime show. My apologies to those who were hoping to see more Justin Timberlake this year, but these folks can tune into any of the five MTV stations 24 hours a day and watch all the junk they can get their perverted little eyes on. The rest of us will be rockin’ out to great American anthems, like “Free Fallin”.
Cons : There are no cons for the halftime show. It’s freaking Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers!
Side Note: Cons in this section are subject to change in the event that John Mayer makes any type of appearance whatsoever during the broadcast.
COMMERCIALS
Pros: Everybody loves these commercials. Anyone who says otherwise is un-American. And hey, the advertisers have more than enough time to come up with some good ones, so let’s see what you’ve got fellas.
Cons: Unfortunately, these hilarious advertisements will be periodically interrupted by a football game of some kind.
Side Note: While Terrell Owens’ theatrics will be missed, there is still hope for a spot in a Kleenex ad. Let’s k-keep our f-f-fingers crossed (sniff).
CELEBRITIES
Pros: Yes, all the stars will be out for this one, but it’s not exactly like being at a Lakers game. Let’s face it, if you have time to play ‘spot the celeb’ in a crowd that large, there is no way you’re following the game (which is not necessarily a bad thing).
Cons: Okay, I really don’t mind the cameras occasionally showing Jessica Simpson in the stands looking confused, but do we really need to interview celebrities? It’s nice to know who’s rooting for what team, but who cares what Tony Romo has to say about…what’s that? Oh, my bad. It appears as though Mr. Romo is not only a celebrity, but somewhat of a football enthusiast as well. Good for him to have the time for football in the demanding, fast-paced life of stardom.
Side Note: Other celebrities who may be in attendance or watching the game include: Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers, Joan Rivers (no relation…that I know of).
YOUR TEAM
Pros: While it’s a good excuse to get together with friends to eat and drink obnoxiously…
Cons: Your team is not playing for the championship. I recognize that this represents the majority of the Super Bowl audience; and even though they say “there’s always next year”, there’s a very good chance that most of us will be caring even less who wins next year’s Super Bowl. So good luck to everyone and your respective teams and be sure to make the best of the bountiful food and drink. Your next self-justified body bender may not come until late November.
5) Quantum Physics – The really hard kind…oh yeah, and rocket science…I think that’s pretty hard too.
4) The Name: “Pacman” – I mean, the game was cool and everything, but once you start shooting people, doesn’t it just seem a little silly?
3) The Human Appendix – Seriously, what the hell is that thing for? It’s about as useful as…..oh yeah, the BCS.
2) Terrell Owens Weeping – Wow, what a Tearful Objective for the controversial wide-receiver. Somewhere, Jeff Garcia is laughing himself to death.
1) 20 Points – Yep, that’s how many the SLU Men’s basketball team scored against George Washington in their conference opener. Did coach Rick Majerus forget he was supposed to have 5 guys on the floor? Either way, this is yet another reason why the great city of St. Louis will never acquire an NBA team. I think I could live with that if college football found a way to implement a playoff system. Until then…
