Zachary Gorsuch Presents: A Few Sweet Nothings, Just for You…


A Message to the 1972 Miami Dolphins…
February 5, 2008, 11:54 pm
Filed under: Sports | Tags: , , ,

Ahh, it’s all over. You can come out now. Your precious undefeated season remains the only one in NFL history. I just hope that all the other great athletes in professional sports don’t exhibit such immaturity and lack of sportsmanship when another individual or team threatens to join them in greatness. In hearing the countless interviews with former Dolphins players following Super Bowl XLII, not once did I detect that any of them were truly happy for the victorious Giants; not once did I hear “Wow, that was a great game, wasn’t it?”. Sure, they congratulated New York and all…but not without slipping in the fact that they’re all relieved to know they stand alone in perfection. Come on, it’s one thing to root against a team because you don’t like their players, or their fans, or their coach, or even their uniforms, for that matter. But it’s entirely different and offensive to have so much interest in a game, for so many selfish reasons: fear of being forgotten in one’s old age comes to mind. Whatever the reasons may consist of, is it so bad to share an undefeated season? Would that be the end of your world? If so, you were playing the right game for all the wrong reasons.
I certainly doubt that if and when the next NCAA men’s basketball team enters the Big Dance undefeated, that Bob Knight will be cowering in a corner somewhere, praying they don’t make it to the final four. Love him or hate him, Knight IS basketball. And there is no way he would wish failure on a team that threatened to become the first undefeated program since his Hoosiers did it in 1976. If every athlete and coach carried this mindset, things would honestly get pretty boring and sports, as we know it, would lose all meaning: ‘Ok everyone, stop winning. The only perfect season is in jeopardy and someone’s feelings might get hurt.’
Let’s face it, New England was busted for spying on one game; and while they may or may not be responsible for other violations, it is unfair to claim they don’t deserve a perfect season. When the justice system does have its final say, trust me, it will have nothing to do with your team. If the Patriots were aloud to compete, then they should be aloud to win, plain and simple. Albeit, the majority of Super Bowl viewers, myself included, didn’t want to see the Patriots go undefeated; but that’s mainly due to the fact that our country hasn’t ever exactly embraced dynasties as a whole. Believe it or not, not everyone in America wants to see the Yankees win the World Series either. But you were part of an amazing season and when a new and sensational football team comes so close to joining you up there on your golden pedestal, you panic. And when they don’t make it, you celebrate jubilantly like a grown man who’s just won a children’s raffle.
As I recall, Roger Maris’s son hugged Mark McGuire when his father’s infamous single season home-run record was broken; and even though no one was talking about it at the time, I’d say the evidence of foul play was much more palpable than that of Spygate ’08. I never heard Hank Aaron speak an ill word about Barry Bonds surpassing him on the career home-runs list. Even if he was thinking it, he is a man and a professional who responded accordingly. Let’s be honest, it’s human nature to want to stand alone in greatness. Sure it’s something special to have the only perfect season, but it is absolutely classless to come out, 30 years after you played the game, and boast to the media how great it feels to watch another team lose; not because it meant your team was making the playoffs, but because you are unwilling to share a page in the history books.
Jack Nicklaus may not cherish the fact that his records will all soon be shattered by Tiger Woods.; he may even feel some sense of melancholy in watching his unbelievable accomplishments be surpassed by a new and exciting generation of athlete. But he would be doing a disservice to the game if he vocalized his wish to remain the best and unchallenged, even in death. Nicklaus, like all other legendary athletes, will openly embrace every victory that brings Tiger closer to his marks, because that is what champions do, for the betterment of the sport. It is their competitive spirit, their sportsmanship and their gracious demeanor that makes game what it is and shall forever be.
I’m disappointed in not hearing one member of the ‘72 Dolphin squad congratulate the Giants without re-affirming “there’s no such thing as a perfect season…except in 1972.” No, really, we all get it. But the fact that you have to remind everyone simply takes away from that magnificent season. Sportsmanship is not about living in the past. We cherish records, not for their immortality, but for the athletes who hold them and those who progress in challenging and breaking them. It’s not as though teams are going undefeated all over the place. You would know more than anyone just how rare and tremendous a feat it is. Which is why it shocks me to see you have such disdain for a group of men with a chance at that blissful glory you were so fortunate enough to experience. You can keep your undefeated season for now and forever…the rest of us will be enjoying the game for the love of the game itself…and nothing else.



The Super Bowl XLII Pros vs. Cons Checklist
January 23, 2008, 1:49 am
Filed under: Sports | Tags: , , ,

I’d like to say that Super Bowl XLII is right around the corner; or that it will be here before you know it. But let’s be honest, the 2-week lull between NFL’s conference championships and THE ultimate sporting event is painful. Albeit not as painful as watching Ladanian “Vader” Tomlinson slouching on the bench, while the Patriots slyly chalked up yet another win. Nonetheless, here are a few pros and cons you should know about the ‘Big Game’ before it arrives (we do have some time).

HISTORY
Pros: You may be witnessing history in the making, as the New England Patriots look to put the finishing touches on what could be the greatest season of all time. The Pat’s dynamic offense is sure to provide some fireworks come (next) Sunday. The weather will be warm and the stage will be set for the first perfect season ever.
Cons: You may be witnessing history in the making, as the New England Patriots look to put the finishing touches on what may be the cheapest display in all of sports (along with the entire steroid era). The Spymasters of the Universe will be sure to aggravate a large number of football fans with yet another tainted, unearned victory. And with the Boston Celtics contending for the top spot in the NBA’s Eastern Conference, the state of Massachusetts is looking at sheer domination in three of the four major American sporting events; which is just awesome…if you’re from Massachusetts.

HALFTIME SHOW
Pros : Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers will be performing in the Super Bowl XLII halftime show. My apologies to those who were hoping to see more Justin Timberlake this year, but these folks can tune into any of the five MTV stations 24 hours a day and watch all the junk they can get their perverted little eyes on. The rest of us will be rockin’ out to great American anthems, like “Free Fallin”.
Cons : There are no cons for the halftime show. It’s freaking Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers!
Side Note: Cons in this section are subject to change in the event that John Mayer makes any type of appearance whatsoever during the broadcast.

COMMERCIALS
Pros: Everybody loves these commercials. Anyone who says otherwise is un-American. And hey, the advertisers have more than enough time to come up with some good ones, so let’s see what you’ve got fellas.
Cons: Unfortunately, these hilarious advertisements will be periodically interrupted by a football game of some kind.
Side Note: While Terrell Owens’ theatrics will be missed, there is still hope for a spot in a Kleenex ad. Let’s k-keep our f-f-fingers crossed (sniff).

CELEBRITIES
Pros: Yes, all the stars will be out for this one, but it’s not exactly like being at a Lakers game. Let’s face it, if you have time to play ‘spot the celeb’ in a crowd that large, there is no way you’re following the game (which is not necessarily a bad thing).
Cons: Okay, I really don’t mind the cameras occasionally showing Jessica Simpson in the stands looking confused, but do we really need to interview celebrities? It’s nice to know who’s rooting for what team, but who cares what Tony Romo has to say about…what’s that? Oh, my bad. It appears as though Mr. Romo is not only a celebrity, but somewhat of a football enthusiast as well. Good for him to have the time for football in the demanding, fast-paced life of stardom.
Side Note: Other celebrities who may be in attendance or watching the game include: Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers, Joan Rivers (no relation…that I know of).

YOUR TEAM
Pros: While it’s a good excuse to get together with friends to eat and drink obnoxiously…
Cons: Your team is not playing for the championship. I recognize that this represents the majority of the Super Bowl audience; and even though they say “there’s always next year”, there’s a very good chance that most of us will be caring even less who wins next year’s Super Bowl. So good luck to everyone and your respective teams and be sure to make the best of the bountiful food and drink. Your next self-justified body bender may not come until late November.



Top Five: Things that make more sense than the BCS…
January 22, 2008, 10:31 pm
Filed under: Sports | Tags: , ,

5) Quantum Physics – The really hard kind…oh yeah, and rocket science…I think that’s pretty hard too.

4) The Name: “Pacman” – I mean, the game was cool and everything, but once you start shooting people, doesn’t it just seem a little silly?

3) The Human Appendix – Seriously, what the hell is that thing for? It’s about as useful as…..oh yeah, the BCS.

2) Terrell Owens Weeping – Wow, what a Tearful Objective for the controversial wide-receiver. Somewhere, Jeff Garcia is laughing himself to death.

1) 20 Points – Yep, that’s how many the SLU Men’s basketball team scored against George Washington in their conference opener. Did coach Rick Majerus forget he was supposed to have 5 guys on the floor? Either way, this is yet another reason why the great city of St. Louis will never acquire an NBA team. I think I could live with that if college football found a way to implement a playoff system. Until then…



Keith and the Coconut Tree: Guitarist Takes the ‘Coke’ out of Coconuts
January 22, 2008, 8:45 pm
Filed under: entertainment | Tags: ,

You have got to hand it to legendary rock n’ roll guitarist Keith Richards. Richards was prescribed a drug, Dilantin, as a result of a head injury he sustained while falling out of a coconut tree last year in Fiji. Man, what a life. You put a metric ton of illegal substances in your body and nearly bite the big one, not from a heart attack or heroin overdose, but from a curiously spontaneous tree-climbing whimsy on the beaches of New Zealand.
I’m not quite sure which is more impressive: surviving 40-year bender of all the booze, blow, and smokes in the universe; or surviving a 15-foot plunge while plucking coconuts. Either way, there is a certain level of irony in that Mr. Richards can’t snort the great white china anymore, not because of the health risks it carries by itself, but because cocaine apparently doesn’t get along so well with his medicine he’s taking for his head injury. Who would’ve thought?
Even more ironic is the possibility that Keith was “coconut-hunting” because he was under the impression that they actually had cocaine inside of them. Isn’t that why they call them “coke”-a-nuts?
There may not be an explanation for this little debacle, but one thing is for sure: Keith should definitely consider limiting his climbing to stairs…and not too many of them. After all, without the benefit of cocaine, the Ritz Carlton lobby staircase may seem like Mount Everest to a man who, before his coconut-encounter, was used to making a living climbing the music charts. I suppose even that gets old after 40 plus years.
Best of luck to the Keith Richards and the Stones, for after Jimmy Paige’s ‘left pinky’ injury, Led Zeppelin is now in the running for most bizarre tour-impeding incidents.



Branching Out: A Look at Small Business Growth within the Landscaping Industry
January 22, 2008, 8:22 pm
Filed under: Business | Tags: ,

Just like any modern-day business model, today’s landscaping profession is becoming increasingly commercialized. Many consumers may simply request the services of the plant nursery from which they’ve purchased their flowers, trees, and shrubs; and others, depending on the size of the project, may pursue even larger companies for their landscaping needs. So how does this landscaping commercialization impact the small business owner?
Assuming the independent landscaping business operation runs approximately 10 months out of the year, with a relatively limited staff (2-4 employees), the impact initially appears to be very little. There are, however, a few concerns that may arise. The fist of which involves the hiring of staff members, who: a) must be willing to perform often exhausting physical labor, b) understand their services are not needed or are in very low demand during the winter months, and c) recognize the limitations of advancement within a small business, thus leading to higher turnover.
While this issue of employment is relatively consistent with that of large businesses, another concern of the independent landscaper lies within the eventual assessment of how, and to what extent they want their business to grow. Rick Poeppel runs a small landscaping business in Ballwin and takes a great deal of pride in the relationships he has established with his clients over years. “If I continue to expand my business, I’m not only taking a financial risk, but more importantly, I’m sacrificing a personal rapport with my clients that has required a lot of time and hard work for me to develop.”
For those who wish to remain on a smaller-scale, the business is not only there, but is also, for the most part, steady. After all, there are advantages, from a consumer standpoint, to hiring smaller operations for various jobs; most of which revolve around the aforementioned relationship between the client and the landscaper. Ultimately, the market is wide open; meaning the amount of physical labor that is involved in this field deters many consumers from simply completing the job themselves. At the same time, such jobs seem to be readily available, because many job seekers are either not interested or physically unable to perform the vocational demands of physical labor. While small business owners, such as Rick Poeppel, may find themselves re-hiring on a seasonal basis, the upside is that most job candidates are fairly young, energetic, and most importantly, willing to do the grunt work.
As the pluses and minuses of running an independent landscaping company have been established, it is clear that this profession is cyclical, both in the hiring process and, on a larger scale, in the potential growth of the business. At some point, the proprietary party has to relinquish their physical duties, as a result of age and attrition. It is then that business expansion seems almost inevitable, for the owner must hire at least one additional worker to take their place. They may even feel compelled to hire a foreman, if you will, to oversee bids and other on-sight business operations, if anything to maintain and develop personal connections with both new and long-standing clientele.
The reason for this inevitability of expansion in the landscaping industry may be attributed to the fact that business is only as steady as one is willing to work. As one becomes older, they may begin to possess a sense of complacency and an unwillingness to push the envelope, financially and in turn, physically. The opportunity to expand, however, becomes much more appealing when the extra dollars aren’t at the physical expense of the owners themselves. With more time on their hands and nothing but more money to be made, they can leave the manual labor to their staff and simply focus on increasing their business. Although this path may seem like a no-brainer, there are many independent landscapers who set limitations on their expansion, for a variety of reasons. Whether they wish to spend more time with their families or they are simply comfortable with their small business status, it is clear that the landscaping industry is market-friendly to any size company.
Whether on the corporate or private level, manual labor will always be in high demand and is a trade that should certainly be well respected and appreciated. As is true for just about any field of commerce, the ultimate thread in the fabric of this unique business model is the worker who physically makes it happen on a day-to-day basis. Let us not take for granted their willingness to enrich our lives, improve our surroundings, and contribute to the economic diversity of the landscaping community.



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January 22, 2008, 8:10 pm
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